“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I
love, Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above” –
Come Thou Fount Every Blessing
Recently, at church our worship leader shared the story of
Robert Robinson, the man who penned the famous hymn "Come Thou Fount
Every Blessing". He shared how Robinson wrote this song when he became a
Christian at age 22 but in his later years walked away from the grace that he
found. It wasn't until one day during his travels; a woman sitting by him moved
by the words of the hymn quoted it and began sharing what an encouragement it
was to her. Without knowing it, the woman was quoting the very words he wrote.
The story doesn’t end there… in his sadden state, he tearfully replied
"Madam, I am the poor unhappy man who composed that hymn, many years ago.
And I would give a thousand worlds, if I had them, to enjoy the feelings I then
had!” What happens next amazes me… she replies: “Sir, the ‘streams of mercy’
are still flowing.”
Now why do I share this story? Because sometimes I feel the
words quoted above are so true to what my relationship with Christ is like. So
many times, especially when trials and temptations or even just life happens, my
heart has been prone to wander and prone to leave the God I love. No matter the
commitments, the desire and even zeal to do better, there’s no denying it
happens. I slip up and do something I
don’t want to do (have a bad attitude, exchange some mean words, get upset,
remain bitter, etc.) and the battle with my sinful flesh is real. Like Paul, I do what I know I do not want to
do and find myself in a battle (Roms 7). There are times when the very sheer
act of will isn’t enough to stop it and I feel upset and want to walk away from
it all (okay, maybe not that extreme). But when I do mess up and the feelings
of shame, guilt and condemnation come, I wonder… is this worth it when I fall
time and time again and feel like I’m not bringing honor and glory to God’s
name?
Truth is… through this journey of faith, I have learned that God
isn’t after what I do, or how I behave. He is after my heart to know Him. Like
the women’s reply… God’s streams of
mercy still flows, even when I wander, fail or mess up; even when I have
fallen so far and if I chose to walk away, His pursuit of me isn’t going to
stop or end. Truth is, I love Him because He loved me first (1 John 4:19). By
the very act of God coming to dwell among us in human flesh (Immanuel), He has
chosen to love us, lay down His life for us and live His resurrected life through
us. That “Jesus, sought me when a stranger, Wandering from the fold of God, He,
to rescue me from danger, Interposed His precious blood” like Robinson, I find
comfort in knowing that God hasn’t given up on me but seeks after me, and
desires my heart to know His grace. His grace died for me when I was hostile to
Him, His grace that rose Him from the grave and the love that lead Him to the
cross is the same love that ever beckons my heart to worship Him. The grace that doesn’t come from what I do but
His unmerited favor, “for by grace you have been saved through faith; and
that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result
of works, so that no one may boast” (Eph 2:8).
Truth is… though I am prone to wander, prone to leave His
side, God’s gift to us is that He doesn’t change and His love sought after, ran
towards and embraces a sinner like me. That though I fall, and this battle
feels like a never ending war sometimes, I take comfort in knowing that I have
a Savior who is Victorious and isn’t willing to give up until He perfects the
good work He started in me (Phil 1:6). That He doesn’t leave me when I wander,
but brings me back home as the Good Shepherd that He is. Like in Robinson’s life,
who came back into the fold, I trust there
are many wanderers on the streets of NYC that need to know this truth. Truth is…
it brings me HOPE knowing our Heavenly Father longs to embrace them like He
does with me.
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